Windex

I made up my mind a long time ago about global warming. Aerosol is bad and trees are good. That was my logic and I’ve stuck with it. However, while I was in my parlor perusing the Internet I came upon a metaphor so striking I could not ignore it.

This quarter, tensions reached a high point between Student Commission and The Index staff over cuts to the paper’s funding. After much deliberation, Student Commission surveyed its members to solve the problem of The Index’s wasteful spending.

They came up with an ingenious solution: scrolls.

The minute Bobby Peterson K’12 got his roommate form during the summer, he eagerly filled it out, writing a detailed description of his sleeping habits and making sure to note that he was an extreme neat freak. Nowhere on the form was there any statement about whether or not students had a preference for honey or minded being stung every so often.

For sophomore Linus Bohr K ’11, it has been a rough two weeks. Bohr, found Monday morning after getting lost within one of Dow's chemistry labs, is glad the have the ordeal behind him. On November 3rd, Bohr entered the lab to do some extra work and he ended up working through the night.

Pantless Tuesdays, a new movement on campus sponsored by EnvOrg, the Economics and Business Club, and SHAG started last week with numerous students choosing to leave the jeans off while attending class.

First off, I would like to begin by simply asking why, in the midst of liberal K College, is The Index a fascist regime? I ask because, who in their right mind would ever elect TJ Kosinski as an editor-in-chief of a college newspaper? Much less, who would ever put the man in charge of anything?

Few students at Kalamazoo College are aware of the rare and illustrious beast that lives amongst them. No, I’m not talking about Christopher Simon K’09, but rather another, more mythic K senior: Sasquatch.

Also known as Big Foot, the large, hairy, bipedal humanoid came to Kalamazoo College for is liberal arts reputation and nationally recognized Cryptozoology department.